Selfish Wedding: Katro Sauber and Alexander Rudyakov about their wedding, love and relationships

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“In the first year of our relationship, I was so torn from emotions, passion and strong feelings that I wrote canvases of admiration and delight. Now, after three years, I love this bald man no less, but there’s no need to talk about it anymore. And not because that “happiness loves silence”, these prejudices do not really bother me. It just somehow calmed down and ceased to idealize. Family life for me is not just my wife’s status, it’s something more. An eternal search for balance and getting to know myself, ”says Katro Sauber congratulated her husband Alexander Rudyako and the anniversary of relations.

We were so inspired by this online message that we decided to find out more about the couple and offered to replay their wedding. For Katro, we took an airy lace dress in the Ariamo wedding salon and together with the photographer Roma Pashkovsky went to the Selfish Club suburban complex. Sasha and Katro were fooling around, having fun, laughing a lot and recalling interesting moments from their wedding. In a short interview, the couple told how important it is in marriage to develop together and at the same time not to forget to love yourself and remain selfish in a good sense of the word.

1. Do you remember how your first meeting went? How did you meet?

K: The very first? It was 9 years ago when Sasha worked at a concert agency. I was invited to a party organized by this agency. I came for prepayment, and Sasha gave it to me. After this meeting, we became friends in social networks and did not communicate closely. We met by chance a couple of times a year at some parties.
S: And after 6 years I saw Katie’s post asking me to give a lift to Odessa. And we were just going with friends to break off on a bachelor weekend. He offered her a place in the car, and we went to Odessa together.

2. What did you like in Kate / Sasha at first sight?

S: We quickly came together in Odessa precisely because we both were already held personalities, with our own experience and lots of interesting life stories.
K: We initially just talked in a friendly way, not trying to please each other. I really do not like it when a man starts to swagger and tries to get out of his skin in order to like him. Sasha is so confident in himself that he does not need it. This attracted me in the first place.

3. How did your relationship develop? Were there any dates that you remember for any special moment?

S: Everything was very fast. On the second day in Odessa, we met and, returning to Kiev, began to live together.
K: We celebrated so much that some moments due to spiced rum were erased from memory. There were no meetings as such, because we could not tear ourselves apart and spent time together to the maximum. The first time we broke up for 5 days in a couple of months, when Sasha went on trip with his friends on motorcycles. It was unbearably difficult for us. I well remember the day when he finally returned, a day earlier than planned, tired and with a bouquet of flowers.

4. Sasha, how did you make an offer and how much did you already know at that time?
S: Exactly on the first anniversary of our relationship. I wanted to put a box with my mother’s family ring under the pillow, but Katya was already awake, and so I made an offer right in bed.
K: It was so unexpected and intimate. We signed a month later, and the party was organized two months after the proposal.

5. How did the preparations for the wedding begin?

S: Literally on the third day of our relationship, back in Odessa, somehow everything immediately became clear. And even then we decided on the format of our possible wedding. Therefore, the next step was to determine the venue and drawing up a list of guests.
K: On the third day of our novel, we confessed our love to each other and Sasha said that he was ready to go to the registry office, and I reciprocated. We agreed that the best format for us is a noisy party with friends, without a feast and endless toasts. But still, the official proposal, even in bed, was a very important and special moment for me.

6. Katya, tell us about choosing your wedding dress. How much did you have to try on to find "the same", and what was it (color, shape, lace or silk, etc.)?

I am not one of those girls who have been dreaming since childhood about their wedding and wedding dress. Therefore, the idea in my head has not been hatched for years. Already in the first week in the new status of the bride I was in magical euphoria and everything that I could only imagine in my imagination was immediately realized. I imagined short shorts and a top, and over a transparent lace dress. And what was my surprise when, walking, I saw such a dress in the window of a small shop. It was not wedding at all, but I really liked it.
On the same day I bought shorts, and ordered the perfect top in the studio of the Ukrainian designer.

7. Katya, did you change several dresses or were you all the time in one?

I just wanted to tell the story of the second dress. If everything was decided immediately with the first outfit, then the second dress appeared literally on the eve of the party – a short neoprene dress of the brand Tattoo Sweaters.

I did not plan it initially, but when I saw it, I immediately realized that it would be perfect for a DJ set, which was planned as a surprise to guests.

8. Were there any signs or, conversely, curious moments at the wedding?

K: Event cafe helped us with the organization, and everything was so perfect and clear that even if there were any moments, we did not know about them. In general, remembering the holiday and the help of friends, we understand how lucky we are! So many people supported our party, this is incredible.
The only thing left after the party is the video. The guy who promised to give us a video report just disappeared. Therefore, there is an idea to throw a party on the anniversary and order a video for a fee, and not for thanks.

9. How did you choose the location for the wedding? What was most important?

S: We considered several options for sites. Initially, we wanted some kind of terrace or roof, but then we stopped at the updated Barbara bar with a dance floor, which was ideally suited to us in format. We had a dress code for all black & white guests. The interior of the bar was also in such colors.

10. Relationships are work. What compromises do you make? And what are you adamant about?

K: Sometimes it is difficult to put up with something, to agree with a partner, when he himself has a completely different view of the situation. Then a conflict occurs. But time passes – and you realize that without understanding, nothing will work. We learn to be softer when necessary, forgive, give personal space and trust.
S: Sometimes we make mistakes and apologize. If you take offense for a long time, then it will definitely not be better for anyone. Therefore, we try to eventually translate everything into positive and joke.

11. Do you have similar characters or vice versa?

K: We two have very strong characters with our own temper and the same temperament – we can light up in a second. If I recall being silent, then conflict can be avoided. And when I forget, the eruption of two volcanoes begins. But this is a plus, because we understand each other well and feel the same way. It brought us together so quickly.

12. The three main principles of a happy marriage (in addition to love, of course).

S: To be able to keep silent in time, support in everything and take care.
K: To constantly develop in order to be interesting to yourself and your husband, to cook delicious breakfasts and give him a foot massage. (Laughs)

13. What are the family traditions in your couple?

S: We love to bring our relatives together in the country at Christmas. So far, this is one of our main traditions that we want to carry through our whole lives.
K: If we talk about our couple, then every morning and before going to bed, we confess to each other in love and list all the qualities that we love and value in each other. Such a daily tradition.

14. How are relationships changing after the wedding and are they changing?

S: Relationships are constantly changing, the wedding does not really affect this. We always grow, learn something, living together.
K: I would say that the joint life of two people affects their relationship, not a wedding. It is important to coincide in everyday life in order to avoid misunderstandings.

15. What would you advise future newlyweds?

K: Take responsibility for your life, and not think that someone will make your life easier. Agree on everything at once. Because the clearer both of the pair agree, the easier it is to avoid problems and disagreements. I understood this only in the process of family life.
S: And be able to forgive!

16. Do you give presents to each other on your wedding anniversary? What kind? What is the most unusual / memorable gift you received from each other?

K: In our first summer, Sasha gave me an incredible gift: we got into a car and drove to Europe for a concert by Rihanna. I really wanted to get to her concert – and now we stand among tens of thousands of people and listen to Love on the Brain.
S: We are not attached to dates and try to make gifts just like that. Katya at first didn’t really have cheesecakes, but then she learned and began to give me the most delicious cheesecakes in the world!

17. Do you wear wedding rings?

No, we both don't like rings. We made the same tattoos on the ring fingers in the form of comets.

18. What did marriage teach you?

K: Do not call family marriage! Yes, he taught a lot and continues to teach. Here in every family there is a million insights. One thing I knew for sure: you should not run away at the first failure. There are no unsolvable problems and questions. Always remember what happens worse and that in the end everything will be fine.
S: What a philosopher you are! Especially on paper. (Laughs)

The images of the couple: On Sasha – a suit, shirt Artem Klimchuk, shoes – Ali Saulidi. On Katro – Ariamo dress, Ali Saulidi shoes.

Worked on the shooting:

Photographer: Roma Pashkovsky

Stylist: Anna Goncharova

Hairstyles: Diana Bykova

Makeup: Mitya Gribko

Stylist assistant: Daria Shinder

See also: Visiting: Country Complex Selfish Club


                                                            selfish club,
                                                            Katro Sauber,
                                                            Alexander Rudyakov

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